If I am a little puffy-eyed in church tomorrow, I can blame my mother for giving me a blubber inducing movie for Christmas. When she handed it to me, she called it "the movie that made you cry so hard your cat almost bit you."
It's true that my former cat had no tolerance for women who have hysterical fits - but the thing about this movie, Backdraft, is that it fits so snugly into my 'things that will turn me into a human water fountain every time' category. It's not specifically this movie, but the a) little boy watching his daddy die in a fire after having saved someone else's life; and b) 'you go, we go' attitude leading to enormous fireman's funeral parade.
In case anyone's interested, a list of 'things that will turn me into a human water fountain every time' would have to include (but is not limited to):
The Missing Man Formation. Whether it's planes or starships, doesn't matter. Gets me EVERY TIME.
Along with that: military funerals with the handing over of the flag. Big, sappy blubbering patriotism. Anyone have a problem with that?
The 'big three': Birth, Marriage, Death. Doesn't particularly matter who, which is why the brief period of time I had cable in my apartment was marked by lots of The Learning Channel programming. 'Baby Story?' Gets me EVERY TIME.
Add 'baptisms' ... well, make that adult baptisms. I don't think I cried at my cousin's baptisms ... more like laughed at the baby shrieking with horror as it's dunked into the water. Who knows, maybe there was a little welling up. But nowhere near as bad as adult baptisms. The most recent example of this is when I realised everyone was out of the house, and decided to take advantage by watching the video tape of my brother's baptism. I particularly loved it when he mentioned my having bought him his first bible, which is patently false ... I can think of at least three he had before the one I got him last summer at Creation Fest, but I digress. I was blubbering, and very grateful no one saw me, because baptisms get me EVERY TIME.
Thinking about the sacrifice Jesus took upon himself to redeem the world from its sin. Thinking about how many people fail to understand how simple and yet devastatingly and gloriously life-changing that is. This, my friends, is why I will take an enormous box of tissues when I go to see the Passion next week ... and not the el cheapo tissues I use in my apartment (also known as toilet paper) ... no - these will be soft, deluxe Kleenex or Puffs or maybe even Softis if I have some left over ... Because realizing my own wretchedness, how lost I was before I was found... gets me EVERY TIME.
The wind. This is a bit of a non-sequitur perhaps, but in addition to being an emotional weepaholic, I also have terribly sensitive tearducts that can't stand even the slightest gust of wind. Which means that simply GOING OUTSIDE will get me EVERY TIME.
Equally dangerous: onions. I don't care how well-refrigerated, those little beasts have it in for me.
Of course, there are other things that get me to laugh, or get me upset, or get me to do one of those mucho embarrassing 'YES!' moments with the fist up in the air and maybe even some victory dancing. But that's a whole other story. To be continued...
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